Thursday, January 8

Things you need at your next party

I've always been a little...different. When my husband (let's call him Mr. Bean, shall we?) and I got married in the spring of 2007, I was quite shocked and disappointed that neither he nor my mother supported my idea of having our wedding reception napkins read, "Did you get any cake in your mouth? -the napkin." Needless to say, we finally all agreed on a more universally appealing design. That said, I continue to be amused by tongue-in-cheek products suitable for various soirees and shindigs.

One such item that I've run across in recent online safaris is the Pick Your Nose Cups set, a set of paper cups with a photo-realistic design of various men and women's noses. Obviously the idea of my very dignified and feminine boss sipping punch out of a hook nosed cup with a mustache is appealing to me. These could be equally as popular if our soon-to-be Commander-in-Chief, Barack Obama, might consider these fine vessels for one of his many upcoming inaugural balls. As in dances.

Another item of unmatched sophistication and swag is the
Fingerfood Party Plate. For those of us who are too VIP to set down our nibbles plate at a cocktail party long enough to shake hands with one much less inferior, these reusable plates are roughly the size of a potato chip and slide onto your pointer finger much like a ring. Couple this with your booze of choice in one hand, and have the other free to wave to, open doors for, and make generally perverse gestures at other guests.

Finally (and this one could definitely double as a hostess gift for those passive-aggressive moments of weakness), may I recommend that you get the fete really rolling with a vintage bottle of Bitch wine? As our friends at KL Wines inform me, This is a wine about pleasure. Subversive pleasure. Not everyone needs to approve in order for YOU to have pleasure. Winemakers will tell you that Grenache is a bitch to grow. And, it's a bitch to make. The Bitch is from Barossa." Love that last line. This is a wine that I really feel was named after me!

Just think - Martha Stewart probably doesn't have these things at her parties! Yet.

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